This one was a given. Of course Leo DiCaprio won. We knew he was going to win since December, pretty much. We knew he was going for it when he found out that he had hired all the Oscar consultants in Hollywood. And, at the end of the day, I don’t blame him for wanting it and I don’t blame him for going for it. But I’ve enjoyed his desperation and neediness. I actually never wanted it to end.

So Leo won. He unclenched. They made him sit through months of shilling, then they made him sit through four hours of other people being handed Oscars. They made him sit through really long clips of all of the other actors. He RUSHED the stage, and of course he got a standing ovation. For Boy Drama In the Woods.

Leo thanked Tom Hardy first off, and for what it’s worth, I do think that they’re really buds. Then he thanked Inarritu, his team, his family, his friends (the P-ssy Posse), then he made a larger statement about climate change, 2015 being the hottest year on record, something something indigenous people: “Climate change is real. It’s happening right now.”

Also, you’ve got to love how hard Leo has been trolled by, like, Establishment Hollywood. They’re like, “we’re giving you this Oscar but we’re going to make fun of you the whole time.” Who greenlighted the fake bear in the audience at the Oscars? Because the fact that Leo was so TIGHT and PINCHED that he couldn’t even laugh? That made it next-level funny.

Too soon, #oscars too soon. #Revenant pic.twitter.com/wCA8Dijmvc

— celebitchy (@celebitchy) February 29, 2016

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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